Why do most people give up on their new-year resolutions?
According to an article in Forbes, more than 75% of people give up on their new-year resolutions within the first 30 days and more than 92% don’t follow through with their resolutions at all. This leads us to believe that there’s a deeper underlying psychological aspect in humans that forces us to do so.
New year resolutions are borne out of the basic human instinct of deriving inspiration from an external source to drive internal desires. When those inner yearnings are driven underground by the daily ramblings of life, it needs a special excuse to give vent. This brings us to the foremost facet of resolution creation – we do not do it for ourselves; it is invariably for a purpose for which the world around us, should be aware. While external motivation such as rewards and validation does work, it is more likely that a person may not follow through with one’s goal since he/she may not find the task fun, enjoyable, fascinating or a creative learning experience.
New year resolutions represent the very peak of optimism, and this is often the reason why people end up setting unrealistic expectations. A chain smoker, for example, who adopts a resolution of quitting, is almost certain to fail in this endeavour if he hopes to achieve it in a very short span of time.
This leads us to another aspect that hampers the discipline to follow-up on new year resolutions: a lack of systematic and regular milestones to track one’s progress with the resolution. Continuing on the smoker’s example, a well-planned calendar with milestones – such as coming down to five cigarettes by the end of two months – could help him keep track of his habit, and even provide a pat on the back for a job well done. Tokens at rehab centres work very much on the same principle, and are effective tools to boost morale. Milestones also offer one a chance to re-work priorities, and not stick to a rigid set of rules that can be difficult to follow, and easy to give up.
Let us give an individual the benefit of doubt. He does have a plan – a well-thought out one that too. However, plans are never static. When president Truman assumed office, a very different set of problems confronted him – way out of his comfort zone. He improvised - the world got its Truman Doctrine and the Marshall plan. This brings us to the point to ponder upon where people stumble – they are too reluctant to get back to the drawing board and even reflect WHY their plan needs to be worked upon in the first place. Goal setting demands significant introspection – an ordeal most are unlikely to deal with.
A lot of times we tend to keep our goals secret. The underlying psychology behind this secrecy is to prevent us from facing any sort of public humiliation in case we are not able to achieve them. When one doesn’t have anything to lose, one is less likely to follow through with it. Let’s connect this to the Big Fat Indian Wedding – one could argue that by marrying someone in front of 500 people, you’re more likely to think twice about ending the relationship than if you got married in the presence of just your close confidants. Goal-achievement works in the same manner – if one doesn’t tell anyone about it, there’s no external pressure to achieve it and is thus, often let go.
However, there are two sides to every coin. While not telling people might be why one is not achieving their goals, leading psychologists claim the exact opposite – that by telling people you’re more likely to not follow through with it. This is because by telling someone, one feels a little closer to their goal already - that its part of their identity. Since one picks up goals to satisfy a desire of theirs, already identifying with the goal can hamper their growth, as thinking of the possible rewards psychologically fulfils the desire already.
Moreover, a resolution isn’t a one-time event, and instead requires the formation of a habit. Development of a new habit is done by regular repetition and formation of a routine which requires enormous self-control and determination. For habit formation, one must make a routine of it first which requires a definite plan. The plan must clearly define the goals, be realistically executable and allow room for error. One has to accept that we may not be able to follow up regularly but that shouldn’t deter us from continuing again. Not setting intermediate goals to track progress and make appropriate course corrections by researching makes one’s efforts go to waste.
Another big fallacy, and often the simple way out of a resolution, is the dreaded slip-up in a resolution: a person looking to control her diet ends up eating a slice of cake at her best friend’s birthday. Aghast at this, she ends up shunning her resolution altogether and is ready to drop it at the first signs of trouble or resistance, thinking since she has anyway broken her resolution, and sees no point in continuing.
One of the cornerstones of success in every person’s life is a support system- mentors, family and peers. While making a new year's resolution in an instant of excitement, one completely forgets about this important aspect of achieving a goal. They will not only cheer you on but also raise your spirits when you fail. Unless someone’s resolve is unnaturally sound, most people will relapse at some point, and this is when one needs motivation from people in their lives who know them best. Thus, not having people to guide and believe in you could often lead to broken resolutions.
Most students know how hard it is to start studying. They make a plan to start at 4, and when the clock hits 4:01, they decide to start at 5 instead. Now let’s make the timelines broader, where 1 hour denotes 1 year of a person’s life. The plan is to start at the beginning of the hour – the new year. And when we fail in one minute – the first week, we give up and decide to pick it up the next year. The 1st of January is just a calendar on the date, and human beings see it as a milestone for change – the “new year, new me” mindset. This is where people must rise above this mentality and realise that the best way of doing something is by starting where they’re at. That is the only way of achieving long-lasting change.